Staying Engaged In Marriage

When a couple gets engaged to be married, their plan is usually to have a lasting relationship. If they’re ambitious, a family too. But when a little time goes by, and the shine wears off, the new found excitement wanes. Husband and wife start seeing each other for who they really are under the surface. Conflict often arises at this point because something unexpected emerges in the relationship; something they were not prepared to handle.

This is the point where you go back to square one. But instead of getting engaged, you stay engaged with each other. In conflict, in the daily grind of life, as well as in the fun times and romantic adventures the same approach applies. Engagement is pivotal. That means staying connected. Even when things are falling apart—at all costs, and without fail, no caveats or excuses, you’ll need to go back to square one—engagement—connectedness. Because when you’re both proactively engaged, you can’t also be estranged. When you’re engaged you’re working things out. When you’re engaged your enjoying each other—even in the process of working things out. It’s easy to have fun when everything is going your way; it’s harder to maintain equanimity, peace, and joy, when you’re at odds with each other. But staying engaged presents an opportunity to grow in character, and in spiritual and relational maturity.

Having an “engaged” perspective in mind, is a perpetual reminder of what marriage is all about, and it’s also a reminder of what you need to do to get back to that ideal state when you’re both disengaged. And that is a must! Some who give up all too soon may say that’s easier said than done. A wise man once said, “well done is better than well said.” This maxim echo’s the words of Jesus who to the servant who invested his talents wisely said, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”