Updated: Jul 23
It’s no secret that the secret of love often escapes our grasp. We find it easy to love those who love us, but hard to love those who either don’t reciprocate or fail to meet our expectations. We even find ourselves at odds with those who deserve our love the most. Yet God propels us further to love all those whom he allows his sun to shine on and rain to fall on, regardless of their disposition toward us. Just when you think it’s hard, he makes it even harder—if only to dispel any notion that love should be easy. Was it easy for our Lord who demonstrated the greatest love of all, to relinquish his life for sinners?
It’s also no surprise that in the context of today’s assault on the created order and the foundation of society, namely marriage, and family, this secret remains even more difficult to decode because our languages are confused. Our definitions of love are either diluted or entirely false. We start off on the wrong foot when we don’t understand the real meaning of love—that it means certain actions, not certain feelings. What love is, and what love isn’t, reflects both the character of God and the imperatives of his Word. So the ability to demonstrate love flows from understanding who God is and doing what he says, and the ability to change flows from the Spirit of God working in us, which in turn can alter whatever situation we may face.
Humanists even believe that you can do whatever you set your mind to, yet our faith in God to help us love a difficult spouse, child, or in-law, falls in an even weaker category—we really don’t believe that he will help us. We surely believe he can, but when our attempts fail we don’t see him working, and so presume him to be unwilling. So we easily revert to humanism only to find that it doesn’t work either. Like online searches, we want easy answers. But we don’t see on the surface what God is unearthing in the depths of our hearts. For we are real projects!
The only hope we have of fixing what is broken or missing in relationships, particularly in marriage, is found in the perfect, changeless, and timeless language that still resonates throughout the world between the covers of what has been commonly known as the best-selling book of all time. This book we are speaking of shares a reliable, relatable, reliable, and rewarding love language, unlike the love languages invented by man.
God’s Love Language is found in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”
This is one of those things that you have to try in order to trust. God does not help us to do something we’re unwilling to do. He helps those who are ready and willing. Enter faith. It's like the headlights of your car on the highway, where you can only see so far in front of you but somehow you get through the night.
His help comes when we imitate God’s love language as it pertains to the daily grinds and glories of marriage; secure in the hope of longevity and the legacy of having applied God’s love language to all.
So jump in, and remember, perfection is not required!