A Wife Of Noble Character
- Bob & Evy Smith
- 2 hours ago
- 6 min read
A Wife of Noble Character: Mothers in a Modern World
We thought it would be good to hear what an ancient biblical mother had to say about the qualities of a modern wife and mother. Her words, recorded in Proverbs 31, have shaped the way God's people have understood womanhood for thousands of years — and they still speak directly to us today.
Before we dive in, it's worth pausing on one word: oracle. An oracle is any utterance received as authoritative — a pronouncement that is wise, weighty, and worth listening to. That's exactly what Proverbs 31 is. It isn't a suggestion or a cultural relic. It's a description of what God calls noble, and it applies to women now just as much as it did the day it was written.
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." (Proverbs 31:10–11)
Not only is a woman like this rare to find — these days it's rare to find anyone who even knows this is God's picture of womanhood at all. Today's woman rarely receives real inspiration or motivation to become this kind of wife. And that word "rare" is worth sitting with. It doesn't mean unattainable. It means singular, exceptional, set apart from the common. Fine. Admirable. Unequalled. That's the standard we're talking about — not out of reach, but out of the ordinary.
The Bob and Evy family retrospective video of photos—from their first date to their first grandchild—set to an original song "Reflections."
I. The Worth of a Wife of Noble Character
Proverbs 31 was written by King Lemuel, passing along what his own mother taught him. That alone tells us something: Lemuel was clearly shaped by a mother of noble character herself. In fact, throughout this passage, a wife of noble character and a mother of noble character are one and the same — nearly every reference points back to the household she builds and tends.
But here's where we need to slow down, because our culture has a very different definition of "value" than Scripture does. The modern version of value is wrapped up in self-esteem — how we feel about ourselves, how confident we appear, how we're perceived. That is not where true value lies.
Your value is determined by God, and by the character you develop through obedience to Him. That's it. Our worth isn't found in performance alone — though our performance does reflect whether we actually want to live the way God calls us to live. Value is also, undeniably, shaped by how other people perceive us. But the way people see you is not necessarily a reflection of who you truly are. And because so many people place value on the wrong things, they end up tossed around by everything anyone says about them.
Famous martial artist Bruce Lee put it well: "You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass." Carl Jung said something similar from a different angle: "The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you." And Seneca warned centuries earlier, "If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable."
So many people today are chasing little perks to their self-esteem instead of doing the harder, slower work of building real character. But good character doesn't seek the praise of men — it seeks the praise of God. Look at Jesus: He entrusted Himself to no man. It didn't matter what anyone said about Him or to Him — none of it changed how He acted toward them. He simply lived in character, according to the Father's will, no matter who was watching or what they thought. That's the pattern for us too. Whether you're a man or a woman, your character is what determines your value — not your reputation, not your feelings about yourself, not anyone else's opinion. And if you belong to God, your value is already settled. You cannot rise any higher in His eyes than you already stand as His child.
II. The Diligence of a Wife of Noble Character
The Proverbs 31 woman isn't just praised for who she is — she's praised for what she does, and she does a great deal:
"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Proverbs 31:13–27)
This is a woman of relentless diligence. And it's worth talking honestly about how our culture has treated this kind of diligence. The women's liberation movement largely scorned this picture, insisting that a woman's place was out in the workplace, standing shoulder to shoulder with men, proving her equality there. In doing so, it exposed women to a host of temptations and pressures that, for the most part, simply weren't there before — and at the same time, it devalued the work of the home, work that God actually considers more significant than a career spent in an office among men.
Notice something in the text: the Bible never says this woman of noble character heads out to an office. Her influence is felt most powerfully in her home, and her effectiveness as a wife and mother is far greater there than it could ever be in a 9-to-5 job. That doesn't mean she never steps outside her household — she clearly does, buying fields, trading goods, extending her hands to the needy. But those activities flow out of a home-centered life; they aren't a replacement for it.
To be clear, this isn't a statement that working a 9-to-5 job today is wrong or sinful. It's simply pointing out God's ideal for wives and mothers: a life centered in the home, from which everything else flows. We may not always live out that ideal perfectly in our own circumstances — but it's worth knowing what the ideal actually is, so we can aim for it rather than drift past it without ever considering it.
III. The Praise of a Wife of Noble Character
Finally, Scripture tells us what becomes of a woman who lives this way:
"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." (Proverbs 31:28–31)
Charm fades. Beauty fades. But a woman who fears the Lord — who builds her life on character rather than appearance, on diligence rather than idleness, on God's approval rather than the world's applause — she is the one truly worth praising. Her children see it. Her husband sees it. And in the end, her works speak for themselves. That's the picture Proverbs 31 leaves us with: not an impossible fairy tale, but a real, attainable calling for the mothers and wives among us who are willing to pursue it.
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